Strain
by lovelovelove22
Summary: Edward and Bella had the perfect romance: until reality hit. THIS STORY ENDS AT CHAPTER 22!
1. Say Something

**So, a new story idea popped into my head last night and I just had to make a chapter ASAP. So this is it. **

BPOV

I sat awkwardly on the couch in our cramped apartment, knocking my knees together and clenching my fists. He would be home any minute.

Edward and I got married the summer after we graduated high school, and now I attempted to support us with my two jobs while he took out various student loans to pay for medical school. We had decided that we wanted kids; just not yet. It wasn't the right time, and there was no way we could afford the cost of raising a child right now. We were only 20 years old; barely living off the money we had. So when I found out that I was pregnant, I was scared of his reaction.

"Love, I'm home." I heard him call, and I anxiously stood up as he walked into the living room. He cast one look at me and frowned. "What's wrong?" Edward asked, moving closer to me.

"I wasn't feeling so good today, so I left work early to go see the doctor." I began, and Edward sighed.

"Did you at least get paid for the rest of your day?" I shook my head and Edward rolled his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. I knew he was already calculating the price of a trip to the doctors and it drove me crazy. I was glad he was so careful with our spending, but _really_.

"Just let me finish, Edward." I protested, taking his hand and pulling him down to the couch. "I went to the doctor's, and I'm pregnant." Edward's eyes got huge but he didn't say anything. "A little over a month." I added. He still didn't say anything, just swallowed and continued to look at me. "Edward." I said softly, touching my fingertips to his cheek. "Say something."

"This is great, Bella." He finally managed, kissing me softly on the lips. "Not the best timing, but great. I'll have to talk to Emmet or Alice about borrowing some money or something." He said under his breath; almost absentmindedly.

Emmet and Alice were Edward's siblings; Emmet was three years older and Alice was two years younger. Edward was extremely close to them and Alice had become one of my best friends. Emmet was married to Rosalie Hale, a model and actress, and Alice was dating Jasper Whitlock, one of the world's richest businessmen. Neither of them had any money worries. But Edward's family had money. Lots of it. But he wouldn't get any of it until he turned 25, five long years away.

"You don't have to do that." I muttered. "We'll be fine. I can pick up another shift at the store, I'm sure Mrs. Newton would have something for me to do. Or I could get another job….Angela might be able to get me some work at the restaurant."

"You shouldn't be working so much." Edward protested. "And we can hardly make ends meet as it is. How are we supposed to handle all the costs of a child?"

"I don't know." I said quietly. "I'm sorry, Edward." I added apologetically, twisting loose thread from my frayed jeans around my finger until it turned a disturbing shade of white.

"Don't be, love." Edward murmured, pressing his lips to my forehead, then my nose, lips, chin, and finally my stomach."It's not your fault." I felt anger bubble under my skin.

"This baby is nobody's _fault_!" I snapped, cradling my stomach awkwardly with one hand. Edward recoiled instantly.

"I didn't mean it like that." He insisted, his hand snaking up my shirt and pushing it back so that my still flat stomach was exposed. "I love you, Bella." Edward said against my stomach; his warm breath buzzing against my bare skin.

"I love you too." I said, holding him to me.

"I have to go." He said after several minutes, pulling himself from my grip. "And so do you." Edward reminded me; tapping my nose. "Come on, I'll walk you downstairs." He muttered, lightly yanking me off the couch and out of the apartment. We were silent, but it wasn't the usual comfortable silence we shared.

Our marriage was becoming more and more strained every passing day.

**So, that was my bright idea. IDK when I will continue, but it won't be too far away. Maybe later in the week. I would really appreciate reviews!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	2. Drunk

**All I have to say is that my new writing/painting/sketching playlist is flipping sweet. I'll post it on my profile.**

EPOV

She was pregnant. Our carefully constructed, fragile plan was buckling as I sat here. This wasn't the right time. I loved Bella, and I would, without a doubt in the world, love our child. But I couldn't see how we could do this. Bella worked constantly, and even with that we had to scrimp on groceries and bills. I don't remember the last time we went out to eat or bought something without some form of coupon or discount.

But it's our own fault. When my parents found out Bella and I planned to get married so young, they disapproved. They are unfailingly kind and adore Bella, but they thought we should wait until I was done with school to get married. They were right. My parents eventually agreed to be supportive of our union, but with a catch. They said that if Bella and I could make our marriage last for at least seven years, all the money in my trust fund was ours. If not, I had to wait until I was 28 to touch the money. Five years to go.

"Hey, Edward." My lab partner, Tanya slid into her seat next to me and smiled.

"Hi, Tanya." I said glumly, twisting my wedding band.

"You don't seem very happy." She noted, setting her purse the table in front of her.

"I'm just stressed." I explained.

"You can talk to me." Tanya said, patting my arm. "You always help me with my problems, I can return the favor." She was right. I always did give her advice, and I was in no position to turn down any guidance.

"Bella's pregnant." I finally admitted, rubbing my forehead. Tanya squealed a little and I held up my hand to silence her. "This isn't really something we planned. It's not the right time." Tanya shook her head and smiled.

"Edward, it's never going to seem like the 'right time' for a child."

"This _really_ isn't the right time." I explained warily. "I'm in school, for god's sake! I won't be home half the time to the see the kid, let alone be a part of his or her life." Tanya squeezed my shoulder lightly.

"You're going to be a good father, Edward. You're so kind and thoughtful. And you love Bella." I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and smiled a little.

"Thanks, Tanya." I said. But my fears were far from gone. She smiled back.

"No problem, Edward. Anytime."

BPOV

Where _was_ he? His class had gotten over with an hour ago, and he still wasn't home. Edward had tried to call me, but I was in the shower and hadn't gotten to the phone in time. Edward hadn't left a message. What if he was hurt? Or in trouble? Or-

The front door swung open and Edward half walked, half staggered in the door, supported by a beautiful blonde woman.

"Hi." He managed, grinning at me.

"You're drunk!" I accused angrily. The blonde directed him towards the couch and sat him down, keeping her hand on his shoulder. "Who are you?" I spat. She looked taken aback and looked from Edward to me.

"I'm Tanya Denali, his lab partner." She explained. "A couple of us went out for drinks and….well this one here had a little too much." She laughed, squeezing Edward's arm. Anger surged through my veins when he smiled up at her. "Maybe you should get him a cup of coffee." Tanya suggested, and I clenched my fist.

"You don't have to tell me how to take care of _my _husband." I said loudly. "I can handle him myself. Thanks for getting him home safely, but you can go now." I knew how bitchy I must have sounded, but I didn't care. I wanted her out of my home and away from my husband.

"I didn't say you couldn't take care of him." Tanya retorted as she walked to the door. "Bye, Edward." She called over her shoulder and he lazily lifted his hand as a goodbye. I angrily slammed the door after Tanya and rounded on Edward, livid.

"How dare you come home like this, you-" I started to shout, but he was already asleep.

EPOV

I woke up with a pounding headache the next morning, and the sunlight scorched my eyes.

"Ugh." I groaned, and sat up. I was on the couch, which was strange…I never slept on the couch.

"You're up." Bella's voice said. I turned my head and saw her standing there in the doorway; her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. I was in trouble.

"Yeah…why am I on the couch?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose and yawning.

"I don't appreciate _drunks_ sleeping in my bed." She snapped. Last night suddenly came flooding back to me. Beer. Lots of beer.

"Oh." I murmured, squinting under the combination of the sunlight streaming in the windows and the hangover I was currently fighting. "Could you get me some Advil or something?" I groaned.

"Get it yourself." Bella hissed. "I have to go to work." She leaned over to pick up her bag, and then turned to walk out the door. She suddenly froze and clutched her abdomen. A little cry escaped her lips. "Oh god." She groaned, biting her lip. "Ow! Edward, it hurts!" She cried, sinking to the floor. I ignored my splitting headache and raced to her side; touching her stomach gently. I then saw something that made my heartstrings pull drastically.

"Bella, you're bleeding, we have to get you to the hospital." I said in a low voice. She let out another cry and clutched her stomach tighter. "Shh, honey, it's going to be alright." I assured her. "You are going to be fine. You _both _are."

BPOV

I lost the baby.

How was this possible? I was a healthy young woman, and the all the doctor had said was that sometimes these things just happen.

How could something so common hurt so much?

Edward was angry. He spent a good half hour on the phone, trying to find out _why _this had happened to me. Why I lost the one thing I had always wanted. I lay on my side in my uncomfortable hospital bed, letting my tears soak the pillowcase. Edward sat on the chair next me, not speaking or moving. His gaze was stony; his eyes fixed on the wall behind me.

Eventually his eyes found mine and he glanced at me; pinching the bridge of his nose absentmindedly.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, and his eyes hardened.

"You can't help it, love." His tone was clipped. "It's not your fault."

We didn't speak again for over an hour.

"I have to go to class." Edward said, getting to his feet. "I'll have Alice come stay with you until you're discharged." I tilted my head up to kiss him, but he evaded my lips and softly kissed my forehead.

**Aw, poor Bella and Edward. I was planning that all along, though. It really sets up the rest of the storyline.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	3. Love You

**Poor Edward and Bella. Now, a lot of accusations are going to come up, but none of them are true, okay?**

BPOV

"Are you awake?" Edward's soft voice asked me. His fingers slid up and down my arm, sending chills through my body.

"Yes." I whispered. He grabbed me by the waist and gently scooped me up so that I was sitting on his bare chest.

"How are you?" Edward asked quietly, capturing my hands in his own.

"Fine." I lied. I knew he would see right through my lie, but I hoped he would just let it go for once.

"No, Bella, you're not. Please talk to me." He pleaded, kissing my hand. I yanked it away and slid off of him. I didn't care if I was hurting his feelings.

"I don't want to talk." I snapped, turning my back to him. "Just leave me _alone_." I heard Edward get up and stomp into the bathroom. I took a deep breath and buried my face in my pillow. I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to think about the baby I had lost. I wanted some peace and quiet.

"I'm going out." Edward said flatly, emerging from the bathroom. He was wearing jeans and a faded tee shirt; his hair was mussed as always.

"With who?" I asked bitterly.

"Tanya and some other people from class." He muttered, finding his keys and wallet on the nightstand and putting them in his pocket. I felt my blood boil at the mention of Tanya, but I ignored it.

"When will you be back?" I asked sharply, sitting up slightly.

"I don't know. Have fun with your 'alone time'." Edward snapped, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

"Have fun with _Tanya_!" I screamed after him. I heard his heavy footsteps falter, then get closer. The bedroom door swung open and he stormed in, livid.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked angrily, taking hold of my shoulders and shaking me slightly. "Huh? What are you saying?" I tried to squirm from his grip, but he was too strong.

"You're leaving your wife alone at home so that you can spend time with _her_!" I yelled, not caring that his ear was mere inches from my lips. "What do you _think_ it means?" Edward yanked me closer to him so that his lips rested right next to my ear.

"How dare you." He hissed, tightening his grip on me. "You're accusing me of having an affair with Tanya, when you spend all your free time with that _dog_?!"

"Jacob is my _friend_!" I screeched, placing my hands on his chest and attempted to shove him away. No use. "That's it!"

"He's told you he _loves_ you, Bella! I'd say he wants to be more than friends. And still, you insist on seeing him, hanging out with him! Do you have any idea what that does to me? To see you having so much fun with him, when we haven't even _laughed_ together in weeks?" He dropped his hands, releasing me. I fell back slightly against the pillows. Edward's fists were clenched and his breathing was ragged.

"I didn't know." I said quietly.

"Because you didn't care." He said ruthlessly.

"You….you know what he told me?" I asked softly, ashamed. Edward turned around to face me and nodded.

"You talk in your sleep." He said shortly. "And I'm not an idiot. I see the way he looks at you. The way he smiles when you touch him, even on the hand. How he smells your hair when you hug him. I'm not blind, Bella. And I see the way you act around him, too."

"What?" I asked, confused. How did I act around Jacob?

Edward took a deep breath and sat on the bed next to me.

"You smile every time his name is spoken. You go out of your way to make him laugh. Bella, you talk about him in your sleep constantly." His voice was low, broken. He looked up at me mournfully, his lips drawn. "And do you remember when you told him that you were going to marry me?" I nodded, knowing what was coming next. "You came home a broken woman. You sobbed for hours, your heart was broken after telling him your choice. After telling him you choose _me_." He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I love you, Edward." I swore. Edward opened his eyes and shook his head.

"You love him, too." He reminded me.

"I love you more." I whispered. Edward smiled a little but his eyes were still sad.

"I'm going to go." He said after awhile, getting up. "I'll be home tonight after class." He added, softly kissing my forehead. He started to walk away but paused, turning to face me. "I do love you, Bella." He murmured.

"I love you too."

**Aw….so sad! Anyway, please, please, **_**please**_** review. I cannot stress that enough!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	4. Betrayal

**I won't be updating this story very often, because I am working on my story "Without You" more than this one. But I will be sure to not forget about this story!**

BPOV

I sat on a barstool in the kitchen later that night, chewing my lip and thinking about what Edward had said. Did I love Jacob more than I love Edward? I shook my head, trying to get the treasonous thoughts out of my head.

I had married _Edward_. I had sworn to be with him until _death do us part_. So why couldn't I get Jacob out of my mind? I had chosen Edward, and broken Jacob's heart in the process.

"Bells?" A familiar voice called, knocking on the door. I heard a key being used and Jacob joined me in the kitchen within seconds. "Hey." Jacob said cheerfully. And I couldn't help it; I grinned a smile so wide my cheeks hurt. "How are you doing?"

"I'll be fine." I assured him, getting up and hugging him. "What have you been up to?" I pulled Jacob over to the counter and we both sat down.

"I picked something up to make you feel better." Jacob said, holding up a plastic grocery bag. I smiled and he reached into the bag, pulling out a box of chocolate covered cherries. "I know how much you like them." He explained, popping the carton open and extracting a bright red strawberry swirled in dark chocolate.

"Yum." I exclaimed, reaching for one of the berries. Jacob caught my hand.

"Let me." He murmured, reaching over and carefully feeding me a strawberry. My heart started to pound and my cheeks instantly flushed when Jacob's hands skimmed my cheek. A little moan escaped my lips and Jacob smiled. "Bella," He breathed, touching my face with the back of his hand and getting up of the barstool, leaning over me.

Jacob gently took my face in his hands and tipped my head up so that our lips were only a few inches apart.

The front door suddenly opened and Edward walked in, looking at the phone in his hand. Jacob and I guiltily jumped apart; my face burning. Edward caught the movement in his peripheral vision and slowly lifted his head. His eyes were smoldering when he stared at me. Jacob's hands were still on my face, although we were sitting on separate barstools. I was breathing heavily, my heart in my throat. Edward took in the chocolate covered strawberries on the counter and took a deep breath, dropping his phone on the table. No one spoke; the silence was unnerving.

"Jacob, I think you should go." He said in a growl, not taking his eyes off me. Jacob gulped and looked from Edward to me, unsure. "Get out." Edward spat, and Jacob reluctantly left, taking the grocery bag and strawberries with him.

Once the door slammed Edward walked over to me, his steps heavily and determined.

"Are you going to tell me what happened here tonight?" Edward asked. "What you two were doing in _my _home?" His voice dropped to a whisper and cracked a little. "And don't you _dare_ lie to me."

"Nothing happened." I said shakily, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Nothing happened _yet_." Edward corrected. "But if I hadn't walked in, how far would it have gone?" His tone was getting angrier and darker by the second; his eyes going sharp.

"I would have stopped it." I insisted, looking at the floor. But would I? If Jacob and I had kissed, would I have pulled away?

"You don't look so sure." Edward said darkly. He lightly took my hand and kissed it. "Bella, I don't know if I can do this anymore." He whispered. My heart stopped for a moment and I looked up at him.

"What?! No, Edward, please! I love you." I begged, tears escaping down my face. Edward wiped them away with his thumb and moved a strand of hair from my face.

"You can't tell me you're _happy_!" Edward said, exasperated.

"I-" I started to defend, but I realized he was right. I _wasn't _happy. And neither was Edward. I fell silent and let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. Edward stood up, kissed my forehead, and left the room, pausing at the doorway.

"That's what I thought." He said softly, and my heart broke clean through.

**Now, I know people are going to ask. But this **_**is **_**an Edward/Bella story, not a Bella/Jacob. You'll see.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	5. We Need to Talk

**Ok, so the story is really going to pick up after this chapter! Has anybody heard the new Panic! At the Disco song? It's called 'New Perspective' and is from the 'Jennifer's Body' soundtrack. It's a really good song, check it out!**

BPOV

"We need to talk about this, Bella." Edward's voice was strained and harsh, but I didn't look up or speak. "Bella….come on." He sat down next to me and lightly touched my stomach.

"I don't want to talk." I snapped. "I just lost my baby a week ago, I would like to be alone." He exhaled and gripped my hand tightly.

"_We _lost _our_ baby." He corrected me. "I wanted that child too, Bella. It hurts me too." I turned my head away from him and focused on the wall. Edward roughly grabbed my chin and yanked it so that I was facing him again. "That's not all we have to talk about, and you know it."

"It was a one-time mistake!" I shouted, pulling away from him. "It didn't mean anything, and it's never going to happen again." Edward stared at me for a moment and held up my cell phone. My blood immediately ran cold.

"Where did you get that?" I tried to ask casually, but Edward saw right through me.

"Where you hid it." He snapped, flipping it open. "In the past _hour_ you've missed three calls, have two voicemails, and ten text messages." Edward closed the phone and shoved it towards me. "I can't guess who they're from." He said sarcastically, his voice dripping with anger. "I'm guessing you hid it because he wouldn't stop calling." I blushed and started playing with the frayed edges of my blanket. "God dammit, Bella! I'm trying to _talk_ to you here, it would really help if you would answer me."

"I'm sorry." I muttered, and Edward snorted.

"Don't be _sorry_, Bella. Do something about it." He voice grew quiet and he touched my hand gently. "What can I do to make you happy, Bella? Say the word, and I'll do it." He looked up at me through his eyelashes and I nearly melted. "Do you want to work less? I'll borrow some money from Emmet. You want a better apartment? We can move tomorrow." Edward's voice grew hard again and he slammed his hands down on the coffee table, making a loud _bang_. "Just tell me what you want!" I ignored the tears falling down my face and spoke, my voice shaky.

"I don't know _what_ I want." I whispered, looking into his eyes. Edward stared at me, his eyes unreadable. "I just…." I trailed off, unsure.

"What, Bella? Tell me." Edward pleaded, stroking my cheek; drying my tears.

"This isn't working, is it?" I asked quietly. Edward smiled ruefully and his thumb skimmed over my lips.

"No. It isn't." He said reluctantly, the pain now evident in his eyes.

"It hasn't been working for a long time." I continued, my heart slowly shattering. Edward shook his head sadly. "When was the last time we were happy?" I asked. Edward smiled a little, but the look in his eyes didn't change.

"I honestly don't remember." He said in a low voice, not taking his eyes off the ground. I caught a glimpse of the clock and shook my head.

"I have to go to work." I reminded him. "I'll be home late." He didn't look up.

"Yeah, okay." I paused at the doorway, turning around to look at him. He hadn't moved from his spot on the couch, his hands were still clasped in front of him, and he was still hanging his head; concentrating on the floor.

"Bye." I said hesitantly. Edward looked up for a split second.

"Bye." He said gruffly, then put his face in his hands. I could still see the silent tear that streamed down his beautiful face. And I couldn't do anything about it.

So I turned and left.

EPOV

"Alice, it's Edward. Are you free for lunch?" I asked my baby sister casually as I got in my car.

"Sure, anything for you." She chirped cheerfully. "Is Bella going to join us?" I could hear the sounds of her getting into an elevator already.

"Uh, no. That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about." I admitted, pulling out of the parking garage. Alice was quiet for a moment.

"Did you talk to her?" She asked.

"I tried, Alice, but-" I stopped myself. "Let's just talk about this over lunch. Where do you want to go?"

"Hmm…let's get some pizza. I'll meet you at the Pizza Machine in about twenty minutes."

"Alright, Ali. I'll see you then." I smiled to myself. Alice could always brighten my day, even if she wasn't trying.

"See you." She hung up and I sighed to myself. How could I ever manage to get through this alone? Even though I was slowly losing Bella, I would always have Alice to lean on. But that didn't even begin to ease the pain.

BPOV

"Jacob? We need to talk." I whispered into my cell phone. Even though I was at work, I was still paranoid.

"Sure, Bells. I can be at your place in ten minutes." He said easily, and I could almost hear him smiling over the phone.

"No, Jacob!" I quickly exclaimed. "I….I just don't think you should come to our place anymore." My voice went back to a whisper. I heard him inhale deeply.

"Alright." He agreed. "Where do you want to meet?"

"I'm at work at the bookstore- I have a break in a half hour. Can you be here?" I asked hopefully.

"Anything for you, Bella." He said softly.

"Thanks. I really need to see you." I muttered, and then I heard the dial tone. I took a deep breath and hung up as well. A sudden movement behind me startled me, and I jumped.

"Who was that?" My nosy co-worker, Lauren, asked.

"No one." I said quickly, my heart still beating fast. But Lauren wasn't one to give up easily. She clucked her tongue and shook her finger at me.

"It _sounded_ like you were talking to your husband on company time." _My husband_. Dammit, what was I doing?

"It was nothing, Lauren." I insisted, blood rushing to my cheeks.

_I just need to talk to him, that's it. Talk. Two platonic friends, having a serious discussion._

"If you say so." Lauren winked and walked away, leaving me with my heart in my throat.

_Two platonic friends, having a serious discussion. Nothing more_.

**We all know what's coming. But…this will turn out to be an EDWARD/BELLA story! I cannot stress that enough. ExB. Edella. Bedward. Oh, and as always, pretty please review.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**

**P.S. I'm in Springfield, IL right now and there is a flipping sweet Horseshoe cook off going down. I'm gonna go get me one! **


	6. Unhappy Since Forever

**We've officially reached 24 reviews! Yay!**

BPOV

Jacob was going to be here any minute, and I needed to talk to him. I would not chicken out. I had to do this.

"You wanted to talk?" Jacob was suddenly standing in front of me, dripping from the rain outside.

"Uh, yeah." I managed, looking down at the ground instead of into his beautiful eyes. "Come out back."

"It's raining!" Jacob protested.

"I need to talk to you!" I persisted, practically shoving him out the back door of the bookstore that led into a deserted alleyway.

"Ok." Jacob said, using his hand to shield his eyes from the rain. "Talk." I could tell he was anxious, and dare I say, hopeful.

"I can't be around you anymore, Jacob." I whispered, already soaked through from the rain. He was silent, so I continued. "It's not right. And what happened the other night-"

"Don't even tell me you regret that." Jacob said, his voice angry. "You _wanted it_, I could see it in your eyes!" I shook my head and sighed.

"Jacob, I don't know what I want anymore." I admitted, sliding down against the brick wall. "But I'm not going to act on this" I gestured to the two of us "ever, ever again. Not while I'm married to Edward!" I titled my head up to the rain and managed a tiny smile. "This isn't how I wanted this to happen." I said softly. "I don't know how things got so screwed up, but I know I'm not happy."

"I can make you happy." Jacob said stubbornly, reaching out and attaching his lips to mine in a split second. And I almost lost it right then. Ignoring how good the kiss felt, I pushed Jacob away and slapped him as hard as I could.

"Stop it! I'm married to another man, Jacob." I shouted, rubbing my lips.

"You _just_ told me you weren't happy!" Jacob said bitterly. "I wanted to make you feel better."

"You think almost committing _adultery _is going to make me feel better?" I hissed, slamming my hand against the brick wall behind me. "God, Jacob. I wanted to have a serious conversation-" Jacob cut me off.

"You want to have a serious conversation with _me_, lowly Jacob, while you won't even talk to your stupid husband?" I started to defend myself, but I realized he was right.

"I have to get back to work, Jacob. Please, don't call me anytime soon." I smoothed his hair tenderly and hugged him. "I'm going to miss you." I added, almost so softly I wondered if he could actually hear me. Judging on how his grip around me tightened, he could.

"Yeah." He said shortly, releasing me. "I'll see you around, Bells." I walked back inside, shivering. The rain was seeping through my clothes, and my hair was drenched.

I grudgingly took my place behind the cash register and tried not to think about Jacob Black or even Edward.

It was a pain I couldn't bear.

EPOV

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Alice asked, daintily cutting up her piece of pizza with a knife and fork. I smirked at her, trying to hold in a laugh.

"Alice, it's pizza." I pointed out. "Use your _hands_." I wiggled my fingers in her face and she smacked them away. But then she discarded her silverware and picked the pizza slice up.

"Happy? I'm being barbaric. Now, tell me what you wanted to talk about." Alice insisted, taking a small bite of pizza. I pushed my own, untouched piece around on my plate, not sure where to begin.

"You know about….what happened the other day with Jacob." I said softly, and Alice's face immediately became sympathetic and she nodded, persuading me. "Ali, Bella and I aren't happy. Honestly, we've been like this since day one. But we both…well, we were both idiots and ignored it. And now…." I trailed off and waved my hand around.

"You're screwed." Alice stated, and I cracked a smile.

"I would prefer a different term for my dissolved marriage, but yes. It's screwed." I admitted shamelessly. "But I don't know if I can do this." I continued warily. "I mean, she just lost a baby, and it was" my voice dropped "terrible. That baby…."

"Wouldn't have fixed anything, Edward." Alice said, touching my hand. "Honestly, a child would have put more strain on your relationship."

"I still don't know if I can leave her, Ali. I do love her. Or, at least I _think_ I do. I don't even remember the Bella I fell in love with, everything is different now. And she refuses to talk to me." I messed with my hair for a moment, pulling on the ends.

"Edward, is this all you wanted to talk about?" Alice asked suspiciously. "Because I know you, and the look on your face says you're about to ask me something important." I sighed at how well my little sister really did know me. Almost _too_ well.

"Ali, I-" I took a deep breath. "I need the number to a divorce lawyer." God, it felt good and terrible at the same time to finally say that. "I know one of Jasper's companies is a law firm." I explained. "So I asked you." Alice stared at me sadly and clasped my hand gently.

"I'm sorry, Edward." She whispered. I looked down, overwhelmed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." I said roughly. "Just please text Jasper and get the number." Alice smiled very sadly and whipped out her phone, shooting off a quick text message. While waiting for Jasper to reply, we ate our food in silence for a few minutes, until Alice's phone finally beeped. I took a deep breath as Alice showed me the screen on her cell phone.

_Tell him I'm sorry. This is the best divorce lawyer I know; Jason Jenks. (217) 555-1234_

I programmed the number into my phone with hesitation; although my fingers shook a bit as I punched in the numbers.

Could I really do this?

**We all know what's coming. Divorce bells.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	7. Over

**Edward and Bella, obviously, are getting divorced. But don't freak, there's more to the story.**

**Important: One months and two weeks have passed since Bella's miscarriage.**

EPOV

I tried to talk to her; she shot me down. I tried to give her space; she accused me of ignoring her. The truth of the matter is that no matter what I do, Bella isn't happy, and I'm not happy. There's nothing more to it. In fact, we are both pretty damn miserable.

My attempts to talk are always followed by a vicious screaming match, then we go to bed. In separate rooms.

My decision is final, I know what I'm going to do. But the pain that comes along with it is still almost unbearable. Bella and I were high school sweethearts; we met in biology our freshman year and fell madly in love after only a few weeks. And since then, it's been a whirlwind. And now, it's come to a screeching halt.

The shattered pieces of our marriage are no longer salvageable; everything that has gone wrong these past few months tore us apart so viciously I don't see how we could be happy together again.

Today, the divorce papers are going out. Today, our marriage is at the end of the road.

BPOV

The dishes in the sink need scrubbing, the living room needs to be vacuumed, and the bed needs to be made. But I want nothing more than to take a relaxing bubble bath. As I was contemplating what to do first, a knock sounded on the door.

I sighed and stomped to the door, swinging it open to reveal a tall, lanky man in a black suit.

"Mrs. Isabella Cullen?" He asked, glancing up at me over the tops of his glasses.

"Uh, yes. That's me." I said, wondering what was going on.

"You've been served." The man said shortly, handing me a big brown manila envelope stuffed with papers.

"What?" I screeched ripping at the envelope frantically. But he simply offered me a tight smile and turned away, walking off. I skimmed the first couple of lines of the papers, and my heart pounded uncontrollably. The envelope fell from my hand and onto the floor, and I sank to my knees in the open doorway.

Divorce papers. Divorce papers with Edward's flawless signature in various places, with markers where I was meant to sign.

So many emotions ran through my body, but the strongest of all was_ rage_.

Without thinking, I slammed the door to the apartment shut and stormed to my car, clutching the papers in my hand.

Edward was studying at the library for an upcoming exam, and I would be damned if I was going to sign these papers without an explanation. So I floored it and arrived at the universities library. Slamming my car door and furiously dashing into the library. I spotted Edward's bronze hair in the far corner and I stomped over to the table, fuming.

"What the _hell_ is this?!" I shouted, slamming the papers done on top of his books. He looked up calmly, his eyes betraying no emotion.

"Divorce papers, Bella." He looked around and noticed the people around us were staring. "Could you keep your voice down?"

"Keep my voice down? You, you son of a bitch, have divorce papers drawn up and sent to me without even telling me?" I shouted, moving closer to him.

"Don't get me started on that." Edward held up his hand. "_You_ wouldn't talk to _me_, remember?" I knew he was right, but it didn't make things any easier. He cast a wary look around and gently closed his textbook. "Let's continue this at home." He said darkly, slipping his books and the divorce papers into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Fine." I sneered. "I'll see you at home."

-----

Edward was sitting comfortably at the kitchen table when I got home, the papers on the table in front of him.

"Please don't do this." I whispered, sinking into the seat across from him. He shook his head; his lips in a firm line, and shoved the papers at me. A pen dangled from his fingers.

"It's unavoidable, Bella." He said. "This is over. We aren't happy, and we're kidding ourselves here. Everything that has happened these last few months…." He trailed off, his voice thick with emotion. He fiddled with the pen in his hand before firmly opening my clenched fist and placing it softly in my palm. "Don't make this any harder than it already is, Bella. Just sign the damn papers so we can get on with our lives."

I looked down at the papers and shakily uncapped the pen, hesitating slightly.

"I can fix this, Edward." I whispered. "Please." He shook his head again and clenched his teeth.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. But I really can't do this anymore." Edward said, gesturing to the papers again. "Get this over with." He added.

My hand shook as I scrawled my signature in all the right places, and I silently pushed the papers back to him.

"There you go. I hope you're happy." I said nastily, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Stop it, Bella." Edward said harshly. "This is not all my fault."

"Are you seriously blaming this on me?!" I shouted, angry. How dare he.

"Yes, you silly woman! God, you wouldn't talk to me, you didn't like when I gave you peace, I couldn't make you happy! What was I supposed to do? Sit around and wait for you to leave _me_?" Edward snapped defensively.

"I wouldn't have done that." I said quietly. But I wasn't so sure. Would I have continued this disaster of a marriage?

"I don't believe you." Edward said shortly, folding up the papers and placing him in his bag.

"You don't have to. I'm not your concern anymore." I hissed. "Have a nice life. Now get out." Edward stared at me for a long time, his eyes narrow.

"Fine, be that way." He finally said, getting up and picking his bag up off the ground. "I'll come by next week to pick up all my stuff." Edward patted my hand and walked towards the door.

"Can't wait!" I shouted sarcastically. He flipped me off and walked out the door, leaving me alone.

All alone.

**This is NOT the end. This will skip ahead several years and pick up again next chapter. Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**

**P.S. I was so angry. I typed this story up, and then accidentally canceled out without saving. So I had to redo the entire thing, that's why I didn't update earlier today. But I really do like this version better, so it worked out ok.**


	8. Strawberry Daiquiri's and Freesia's

**Okay, this chapter picks up eight years later, when Edward and Bella are both 28 years old. Edward works as a doctor, and Bella is a writer. They haven't spoken or seen each other since the divorce was finalized.**

BPOV

"Crowley, party of two?" The waitress called, and Tyler and I stood up. I met Tyler a few weeks ago when I moved to Chicago. He actually lives in the same apartment building as me, and helped me move in. He's a nice guy, and cute, but I'm not really looking for anyone.

Honestly, I don't believe really true love anymore. After what happened eight years ago between me and Edward, I'm just discouraged. But I'm starting over in a new city, with a great and rewarding career, so I might as well give it another shot.

"So, Bella. Tell me something about yourself." Tyler said sociably after we sat down. "Where did you grow up?"

"Uh, in Seattle." I said, a little taken aback. I don't really enjoy talking about my past. "I lived there until I was 21, then I moved to a little town in Washington, then here."

"Oh. Seattle, huh? Why did you leave?" He asked curiously as the waitress arrived to give us our drinks.

"I got divorced." I said shortly, now irritable. "And I didn't want to be in the same city as my idiot ex-husband."

"I get that." Tyler laughed, and I smiled weakly. "So, do you mind asking _why_ you got divorced?"

"Yes, I do mind. I'm sorry, but I really don't like to talk about the whole thing." I tried to compose myself and not bite his head off, but the condescending smile on his face was really driving me crazy.

EPOV

"Why don't we get you a drink?" I suggested, putting my hand over Jessica's. She laughed, but I was serious. How could I have not realized how annoying this girl was? She giggled at _everything_. And she even had the nerve to laugh at my car! Bella had been the only one allowed to-

Shit. I had promised myself almost eight years ago that I would never, ever think of Isabella Swan again. So why was she popping into my head so often? Especially within these past couple of weeks.

"That sounds great. I'll have a strawberry daiquiri." Jessica said, and I ordered it for her.

Strawberries…..just like Bella's old shampoo.

I was going _crazy._

But why? I haven't spoken to my estranged ex-wife in eight years. I haven't even seen her since the divorce was finalized and we went our separate ways; I had gone to Chicago and apparently Bella had just left town.

"Edward? Are you ok?" Jessica asked, looking very concerned. "You look a little….out of it." I forced a smile and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I think I need some air. I'll be right back, ok?" I stood up and Jessica nodded, looking down at her menu and biting her lip.

Bella used to bite her lip. All the time. When she was thoughtful, angry, or-

God! I really need to stop thinking about Bella.

I escaped into the cool night air just as a waitress called out, "Crowley, party of two?" and caught a strong whiff and strawberries and freesia. What the hell? I was even _smelling_ Bella now.

BPOV

When I met Tyler, I really hadn't noticed how much he talked. Mainly about himself.

As I listened to him drone on and on about college and apartment rent and gas prices, I felt a little weird. Really lightheaded and a little shaky. It was getting harder to breathe, and I clenched my fork tightly in my hand, waiting for the feeling to pass.

Unfortunately, the feeling most certainly did _not _pass, and I felt myself crumple out of my chair and to the ground. I was struggling to keep my eyes open as someone called for a doctor, and was positive that I was hallucinating when an eerily familiar voice responded.

EPOV

I saw her tumble to ground a split second after I realized who she was. It was Bella. But why is God's name was she in Chicago?

"Is anybody here a doctor?" Someone shouted. I didn't really take in the information until Jessica swatted my arm and I realized, _I _was a doctor.

"I am! Give her some space, don't crowd her." I instructed, moving forward and crouching down next to my ex-wife. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her brown curls were tamed into a shorter style, and she had a very slight tan. I carefully checked her vitals over before taking her in my arms and trying to make her more comfortable. "Has anyone called an ambulance?" I asked, and the man who had been sitting with Bella nodded.

For some reason, I felt a flair of jealously. She had been on a date with another man. But I had been on a date with another woman. No reason to get territorial, I no longer had anything to do with her.

But I couldn't believe she was here with me again. This woman whose body I know better than my own. The small freckle on her right Achilles tendon, the way her left thumb nail is shorter than all the rest because she chews it when she anxious or worried. I know the way her lips looked when they're bruised with my kisses, and the way her eyes used to darken every time I touched her.

I tried to shake these thoughts from my head. She was no longer _my_ Bella, and she hadn't been for a long time.

The ambulance arrived shortly and in the rush, Bella was taken and I realized I didn't want to leave her side.

"I'll ride with her." I called to the EMT, who had already situated Bella in the back of the ambulance.

"Edward!" Jessica screeched, and it was only then that I remembered I had been on a date.

"I'm sorry, Jess. Maybe some other time." I offered, not really meaning it. I jumped into the back of the ambulance and took Bella's hand as we sped off.

I didn't understand what I was feeling.

BPOV

I managed to open my eyes a little bit and saw that I was in the back of an ambulance. Frantic, I tried to sit up, but someone immediately pushed me back down. I looked up and my heart instantly dropped.

Edward.

"You!" I hissed, trying to push him away.

"Stop it, Bella. I'm trying to help." He snapped.

Hmm, just as pleasant as the last time I had seen him.

"I hate you." I said angrily.

"I know." He responded, smiling a little. And I couldn't help but weakly smile back before I remembered all that he had done to me. The smile dropped off his face in the same instant, and we were silent. "Bella, what are you doing here? In Chicago, I mean."

"I live here." I retorted. "What are _you_ doing here?" I asked snottily.

"_I _live here." Edward replied just as the ambulance screeched to a halt.

"Thanks, but you can leave now." I said as I was wheeled into the hospital, Edward taking long strides to keep up with the stretcher.

"No way!" Edward laughed. "I just have to see why you passed out in the middle of dinner. Was your date really that bad? That guy didn't deserve your attention."

"And what, you think you do?"

He simply raised his eyebrows as if to say 'Well, you did marry me.'

Yep, just as pleasant as the last time I had seen him.

**See, they meet again.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	9. Hospitalized

**The Edward/Bella aspect of the story is picking back up again!**

BPOV

Edward came into my hospital room with a smirk on his face and wearing an, although I hated to admit it, impressive white coat.

"Well, Miss _Swan_" he spat my maiden name like it was poison "you seem to be a bit dehydrated and bumped your head pretty badly when you fainted. We're going to hook you up to an IV and keep you overnight for observation."

"Edward-" I started to protest, but he cut me off.

"Dr. Cullen." He corrected, looking down at his clipboard. The tiniest glimmer of a smile played on his lips and I was stunned. This man, who had divorced me eight years ago, was suddenly back in my life. It was all too surreal.

After all the hurt we had caused each other, I was _still_ attracted to him. And judging by the way he looked at me, he felt the same way.

"Look, Bella, I-" He started to speak but was interrupted.

"Bella? Oh, thank god you're okay!" It was Tyler. Although I appreciated his concern, I really didn't want to spend any more time with him than necessary.

"Excuse me, I'm trying to talk to my patient." Edward snapped, looking agitated and, dare I say it, _possessive_. Tyler looked a little shocked but squeezed my hand once and went to go sit outside. I saw him take a seat in one of the chairs near the nurses' station and start tapping his fingers against the window.

I rolled my eyes and focused on Edward, who was now sitting on the edge of my bed.

"How have you been?" He asked, rolling a pen between his fingers.

"Fine." I said shortly.

"Spoken to _Jacob_ lately?" Edward asked bitterly, and I immediately stiffened.

**Flashback:**

"**How's the divorce comin' Bells?" Jacob slurred, leaning against me. We were in my apartment, and Jacob had come over to help me 'drink my troubles away'. But he had consumed most of the alcohol himself.**

"**Just great." I said sarcastically. "Look around and notice that half of my furniture is gone. I swear, if Edward gets one more thing in this stupid 'division of assets' crap, I'm going to-"**

"**Whoa, don't go off on me." Jacob laughed drunkenly, and I was suddenly aware that his head was in my lap.**

"**Maybe you should go home." I said lightly, trying to push him off me. "I can call you a cab."**

"**I don't want to go home." Jacob whined stubbornly, locking his arms around my waist like a petulant child. "I want to say here with you, Bella." I shook my head and managed to shove him off of me, making him slid to the floor. "Ouch!" He winced, rubbing his forearm. **

"**I'm sorry, Jake. Let's get you home." I persisted, getting up to help him off the floor.**

"**What is **_**wrong**_** with you lately?" Jacob asked, struggling to stand even with my assistance. "You're no fun anymore." I ignored him and started to push him towards the door. "Are you still upset?" He asked, his eyes half closed. "Because of what we almost did? Or because you can't even manage a job most women have no problem doing?" He was pretty much out of it by then, but the comment still cut deep and stung horribly.**

"**I don't know what you're talking about." I lied, willing myself not to cry. I almost had him out of my apartment. In ten seconds he would be-**

"**Sure you do. You can't even carry a child-" Jacob started to slur, but I slapped him hard as I could across the face and shoved him out the door before collapsing into a pathetic mess on the floor, sobering and blubbering. **

**I honestly expected Edward to come and comfort me, before I remembered that even Edward didn't want me anymore. **

**End Flashback**

"That bad, huh?" Edward said quietly when I didn't respond. I drew in a shaky breath and pursed my lips.

"He told me I couldn't do the job most women have no difficulties with. That I couldn't carry a child, and that-"

"Stop." Edward murmured, cutting me off. "I- I really can't hear about that." He explained, looking into my eyes and squeezing my hand. "When was this?" He asked, honestly curious.

"About four months after…it happened." I replied, not caring that my voice was shaking. Edward had seen _much_ more than his fair share of emotion displays from me.

"He's pitiful." Edward spat.

"I know that now." I smiled weakly. "I should have listened to you about him." Edward's eyes darkened and he started to say something before his beeper went off and he groaned.

"I have to go." He said before bursting out of the room. I laid there in silence for only a few moments, and then Tyler burst in and I had to suppress a groan of my own.

"Geez, that doctor was kind of weird, huh?" He commented.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

"He was acting really weird, like he knows you or something. And he was really…protective of you." Tyler studied me for a moment before frowning. "Wait, _do_ you know him?" I didn't say anything at first, but Tyler nudged me. "Bella?" He persisted, and I rolled my eyes.

"He's my ex husband." I said in a gruff tone I realized I had learned from Edward. Tyler's jaw dropped a little and he looked confused.

"But- You said- I thought…..I thought you said he lived in Seattle." I shrugged.

"I guess he moved. I haven't spoken to him since our divorce was finalized." God, Tyler was forcing me to talk about my divorce, which I hated to do. It was really starting to piss me off.

"Oh. Do you want another doctor? Because you can ask for one-"

"No!" I said, a little too quickly. "I want Edward to be my doctor." I amended, making Tyler look even _more_ confused.

"Uh, okay. Whatever." He sat down in the chair next to my bed and I sighed heavily.

"Look, Tyler, I'm really sorry about our date and everything, but I'm really tired. Can you please leave?" His face fell a little. "So I can get some sleep." I explained, faking a yawn.

"Yeah, yeah. I hope you feel better." He grumbled, putting his jacket on and slipping out of the room. Seconds later, Edward came back in.

"Do you mind if I stay?" He asked earnestly, hesitating.

"No." I answered, although I refused to look directly at him. He sunk into the chair Tyler had just deserted and gently took my hand, stroking it until I fell asleep.

And that night I dreamed of Edward Cullen for the first time in over eight years.

**Sparks are a flyin'. But nothing ever happens that easy. Not even for my beloved Edward and Bella. Which reminds me….I was browsing the New Moon website (which is totally awesome), and my fiancée came up behind me and asked if what he could do to make me love him more than I love Edward. I replied with, "Sparkle, bitch!" He was kidding. I was semi-serious. Now I have to go make it up to him. Maybe I'll make him a BLT. Or some French toast.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	10. Driving Miss Daisy

**Ok, my fiancée has forgiven me. I took him to Toys R Us with some of his idiot friends and he got a paintball gun and a laser tag set. He and four other grown men are now currently running around our apartment playing laser tag and screaming like girls.**

EPOV

I watched her sleep, her lips moving ever so slightly but no words uttered. She smiled occasionally, which, in turn, made _me_ smile.

"Edward," She mumbled, almost inaudibly. "I love you." It was spoken in a low whisper, but it made my heart constrict none the less. "I love you." She murmured again, moving restlessly and squeezing my hand in her sleep. "I'm sorry." A small tear escaped down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly with my free hand.

I didn't deserve her. I had left her a long time ago, and we had both hurt each other beyond belief. So why did my heart flutter every time she smiled? Was it possible that I still loved her? And did she mean what she said in her sleep?

"Dr. Cullen? Isn't your shift over?" My favorite nurse, Angela, came into the room to check up on Bella and was obviously surprised to find me there.

"Yes, I was just, uh, concerned about Ms. Swan." I lied, not caring at how unconvincing I must have sounded. Angela flipped through Bella's chart and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Ms. Isabella Marie Swan-_Cullen_?" Angela asked, smiling pointedly at me. Her voice dropped and she set the clipboard down. "She's your ex-wife, isn't she?" I silently cursed myself for telling Angela about my past.

"Yes." I answered, rubbing the spot on Bella's hand where her wedding band used to be. "Bella." Angela nodded and went back to her work, a tiny smile on her lips.

"I'll see you later." She said, leaving the room. I nodded, not looking away from Bella.

"Alright, Angela." I called, a little too loud. Bella stirred and her eyes cracked open a little bit.

"You still talk in your sleep." I smiled, still not letting go of her soft hand. Bella immediately blushed.

"What did I say?" She asked, twisting the sheets in between her fingers.

"Not much." I lied, knowing at a smirk was twisted on my lips. She looked down and continued to blush. I curled a finger under her chin and gently lifted her head up so she was looking into my eyes. I never realized how much I had missed those beautiful eyes, so deep and chocolate colored. "Don't be ashamed, Bella. I like when you talk about me in your sleep." She stared at me with a little half-smile on her face, and started rubbing my hand.

"I dreamed about you." Bella whispered. I grinned, and Bella caught a glimpse of the clock. "Did you stay here all night?" She asked, her voice high.

"It's not a big deal, Bella. I've stayed up all night with you before." I pointed out, making Bella scoff.

"That was when I was your wife." She said quietly, my heart dropping like a stone. "Like I said, I'm not your concern anymore." I ignored the harsh words.

"I still care about you." I said softly.

"You had a funny way of showing it." Bella whispered. I cringed and let go of Bella's hand, and started to stand up. She frowned and took my hand back, clutching it fiercely. "Don't." She murmured. "You can stay….if you want."

I silently sunk back into my seat and Bella picked up the TV remote on her nightstand.

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" She asked, turning on the TV and flipping to the guide.

"Sure." I responded easily, leaning back in my uncomfortable seat.

"Ooh, _Driving Miss Daisy_!" Bella squealed happily, sounding different from the woman I had left eight years ago. She sounded like the woman I had met in freshman year biology. "I _love_ this movie." She changed the channel just as the movie began.

"I've never seen it." I said indifferently. "Is it any good?"

"Never seen _Driving Miss Daisy_?!" Bella exclaimed. "It's only the best movie of all time! Morgan Freeman? Jessica Tandy? How have you been living all these years?"

"I've managed." I snorted. "And you've never even seen _The Godfather_!" Bella rolled her eyes turned the TV down a little bit.

"I'm not too keen on the whole mafia thing." She said, smirking.

"It's more than that." I scoffed. "You have to focus on the storyline."

"I'd rather watch _Driving Miss Daisy_." Bella said, turning back to the TV. "It's happier."

"Fine. Happier it is." I settled, squeezing her hand and settling back to watch the movie.

Happy would be a nice change for the two of us.

**A little Edward/Bella banter for you. It's based after a real conversation between my fiancée Jensen and I….he had never seen Titanic when we first meet, and he laughed at me when I said it always made me cry! He ended up balling though, so I win!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	11. Take Care

**I've confiscated the laser tag set. The man-child brigade are pouting and blasting my old Ashlee Simpson CD to anger me, which isn't working. I'm quite enjoying the tunes. **

BPOV

"Ready to go home?" The nurse asked as I sat down in the wheelchair.

"Definitely." I sighed, making her smile. "I really hate hospitals." She laughed and started wheeling me out of the room.

"I'm sure your husband will be relieved to have you back home. Dr. Cullen is a nice guy, and I know he was really worried about you." She said conversationally. I blushed on cue and started blabbing.

"Oh, uh, I'm not married." I said awkwardly. "Dr. Cullen isn't my husband." The nurse blushed to.

"I'm sorry! Your chart says-"

"We aren't married." I said again, this time in a stronger voice without stuttering. Then, at the worst possible moment, Edward spotted us and came up behind me, taking the wheelchair from the nurse.

"Hey." He said, smiling broadly. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I answered shortly. "Ready to go home….I hate hospitals now." Edward's breathing hitched and he gently moved a piece of hair from my face.

"Completely understandable." He said, but I could tell he was having trouble keeping his voice pleasant. "Bella, we have dinner or something? I really feel like we should talk about….what happened between us. We never got the chance to hash things out." I hesitated and looked up at him, not sure what he was asking. "Just a talk, Bella." Edward clarified.

"Yeah, fine. I guess you can call me." I mumbled. "Or just come by my place….whenever you can."

"That would be good." He replied, not bothering to hide the smile that spread across his face. "I've missed you, Bella. You seem happy now."

"Happier." I corrected. "But not completely happy. I miss you too." We both fell into comfortable silence until we reached the hospital exit.

"This is where I leave you." Edward said, opening the door and wheeling me out of the hospital. "Take care, Bella. Try not to faint on anymore crappy dates."

"I'll try." I said sarcastically as I got out of the wheelchair and Edward held the taxi door open for me.

"Good to know." Edward laughed, leaning in the open taxi window. "I'll call you, Bella."

"Thanks again." I said, and he kissed my cheek gently, which surprised me.

"Anytime." He said, hitting the top of my taxi as it pulled away from the curb.

He's my ex-husband.

There's nothing going on between us.

So why is my heart beating so hard?

**Ugh this is the world's shortest chapter but I'm too busy to continue! It needs to end here, because the next chapters is set on a different note. Please review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	12. Mother

**Went wedding dress shopping yesterday….yeah, ten days before the wedding. I'm a procrastinator. But I found a dress and took it right home. No alterations needed.**

BPOV

I trooped up the stairs in my apartment building after getting home from the hospital, looking forward to a nice long bath. I reached my apartment and realized the door was slightly open. The first thought that ran through my head was that I had been robbed.

I carefully eased the door open, peeking my head inside.

Suddenly a pair of arms were around me, and I screamed bloody murder.

"Shh! Bella, what's wrong?" The voice asked, slamming the apartment door shut.

"_Mom_?!" I gasped, my chest heaving. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you were in the hospital, and I wanted to make sure you were okay." My mother explained, holding me at arms length so she could examine me.

"So you came to Chicago? All the way from Jacksonville?" I asked. This was exactly what my mother was like. Overprotective. Spur of the moment. Dramatic.

"Anything for my only daughter." She said, dropping her arms and crossing them over her chest. "It's not like you have anyone else to take care of you." She mumbled under breath, and I rolled my eyes.

"Mom, come on. I am not ready to be in a relationship." I groaned, retreating into the kitchen. She followed close behind.

"It's been eight _years_ since that boy broke your heart!" Mom protested as I got a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, popping an Advil. "Maybe you should go out on a date. Baby, with your looks it wouldn't be hard to find someone." Dear god this was an awkward conversation.

"That's not the point, mom." I huffed, sitting down at the kitchen table. She sat as well, propping her elbows up on table.

"Come on, when's the last time you were on a date?" She asked eagerly.

"Not that long ago." I said evasively, just as someone knocked on the door. I got up to answer it, and my mom followed me to the door.

"What do you mean?" She asked, grinning. "Have you gone on a date lately?"

"Mom, someone's at the door." I said calmly, like I was talking to a child. "So please be quiet so I can talk to whoever is here." She rolled her eyes but fell silent, looming behind me as I swung the door open, eager for salvation.

Tyler.

I bit back a groan and forced a little smile.

"Oh hey, Tyler." I forced a pleasant tone and my mom giggled a little from behind me.

"Hey. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Tyler said, stuffing his hands into his pocket.

"How sweet!" My mother cooed, startling both of us. "Why don't you come in, cutie?" I fought the urge to elbow her, and Tyler grinned.

"Thanks." He said, not noticing my hesitation.

"So who are you?" My mom asked, ushering the both of us to the couch. She was treating me like a teenager in my own home.

"I'm Tyler Crowley, ma'am." He said, shaking her hand. "I live next door, and was with Bella last night when she fainted." Her eyes widened as she took in this information.

"_You_ were there?" She asked excitedly. "Were you on a date?" Oh dear god.

"Mom, please." I begged, and Tyler didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah, we were at dinner, and she just collapsed. A doctor was there though, so we were lucky." I could hear the sarcasm in his tone, and I braced myself for him to spill my secret. He turned to me and smiled. "So, how was your ex?" He asked, sounding honestly curious. My mom digested this information and her jaw dropped.

"Your _ex_?" She spat, widening her eyes. "As in, Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah." I fidgeted a little, not meeting her eye. "He's my only ex, mom."

"Well this is unacceptable!" My mom exclaimed. "He moves here too, right as you do? Are you sure he's not stalking you?" I rolled my eyes at this ridiculous assumption.

"I'm sure, mom." I muttered. "Edward has been working at the hospital for three years. I've only been living here for three months." I knew she would never listen to my reasoning, but I might as well try and talk some sense into her.

"Maybe I should go." Tyler was finally sensing the discomfort.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry." My mom said apologetically. "I should leave you two-"

"No, mom." I said sharply. "I'm going out." Ignoring both her protests and Tyler's, I wrapped myself in my coat and tugged my gloves on. "I'll be back later." I called, slamming the shut behind me as hard as I possibly could.

I needed Edward.

**So I'm trying to get a chapter out every day, because I won't be updating from August 13-22. Explanation on my profile page. Obviously, I may not be able to update every day up until then but I'm going to try.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	13. A Good Cry

**I officially hate my florist. There is a **_**huge**_** difference between white roses and peach roses, stupid. And nobody wants a bouquet of green tulips, orange carnations, and yellow daises, so there!**

EPOV

The banging on the door to my apartment was loud. And incessant.

I had gotten about an hour of sleep last night, and was attempting to sleep before I had to get back to work. I tried holding my pillow over my head, but the knocking did not stop. So I grudgingly padded to the door, rubbing my forehead and yawning.

"Bella?" I asked, stunned. She was standing the doorway, her eyes cast downwards and her jaw clenched. I knew and recognized that look, it meant she was trying desperately not to cry.

I also knew how many times _I_ had put that look on her face.

She broke down and collapsed into my arms, like she had done so many times in the past, and started to cry softly and silently, clenching her tiny fingers around my neck. We stood in the open doorway, holding on to each other in desperation.

I knew we needed each other, but couldn't see how we could overcome these obstacles.

BPOV

I was holding back tears as I knocked on the door to Edward's luxury apartment, and was determined to have a serious discussion with him.

But when he finally opened the door, wearing rumpled plaid pajama pants and no shirt, I completely lost it and launched myself towards my ex-husband, clinging to his half-naked form. He held still for a moment, obviously stunned. But then he wrapped his arms around me and let me cry softly into his bare chest, rocking us back and forth slightly, whispering comforting words into my ear.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, unable to stop crying but able to control my voice. "I'm just….just messed up."

"It's fine, Bella. It's going to be fine." He whispered soothingly, rubbing circles on the small of my back with his hands. "I'm here." His voice was so low I could barely hear him, but it meant the world to me. Edward was showing me compassion, even though we had been so terrible to each other. But that felt like another life now.

Eventually, what seemed like hours later, I stopped my tears, and hesitatingly glanced up at Edward. His eyes were soft, and his lips were set in a straight line.

"Are you going to tell me what upset you so much?" Edward asked, rubbing the wet tears off my face with his thumb.

"I honestly have no idea." I confessed. "When I saw you again yesterday, all these emotions just…crashed down on me. And then my mom came over, and Tyler, and my mom is pissed that I'm talking to you again, and I know she's trying to be protective, but it's killing me! She's been all over me lately to start dating again, and I really don't think-" I was practically blubbering now, going on and on as Edward looked down at me with a perplexed look on his beautiful face.

"You don't want to start dating again?" He asked, frowning. "You said that you were all ready to move on with your life and find a _real_ _man_." I flinched at the words I had screamed at him eight years ago in the midst of our divorce.

"I was mad then." I said calmly. "I said a lot of things I didn't mean." Edward studied me for a minute and then closed the door to the apartment.

"I think we should talk, Bella." He said, gesturing to the couch. I sank down into the plush cushion as he started towards the kitchen area. "Do you want some coffee?" He called, pouring himself a cup.

"Uh, sure. That sounds great. 2 creams and-"

"One sugar." Edward cut me off, smiling. "I remember." He sat down next to me, leaving plenty of space between our bodies. "So, what should we tackle first?" He asked good naturedly, handing me my cup of coffee.

I eagerly accepted the mug and took a long sip.

"I don't go. I guess we should just….dive on in." Edward nodded and took a gulp of his own coffee. "You can start." I offered. Truthfully, I was embarrassed to begin the conversation, which would undoubtedly lead to awkwardness, which I didn't want. He traced the pattern on his coffee cup, his brow furrowed. I knew he wanted to talk, but didn't want to fight. So I leaned closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder, silently urging him to begin.

"Why wouldn't you _talk_ to me?" He finally asked in a broken voice. "I wanted to help, Bella, I did. You made me feel so helpless, not letting me comfort you when you cried, walking away from me when I tried to talk." Edward paused, warily setting his cup down on the cluttered coffee table.

"I don't know." I said carefully, taking another drink of my coffee before setting it down next to Edward's discarded mug. "I think I was convinced that you hated me. Hated me for…..my failure as a wife and mother, and that you pitied me." My voice was painfully shaky and low; I pulled my knees up to my chest. "I didn't want to be seen as your stupid, pathetic wife." Edward was silent, but he took my hand and squeezed it gently, rubbing his thumb over my knuckle. When he did speak, his voice was raw and emotional.

"You certainly were not a failure as a mother, Bella." He said in a growl. "What happened was not your fault. It sucked, and it was terrible, but you" He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my palm "had absolutely no control over it. I could never, ever hate you for something like that." Edward's face suddenly became intensely serious. "I loved you, Bella. But all those problems kept building up and we did nothing to stop them from destroying what we had." His hand traveled down my arm, giving me goosebumps. "Destroying _us_." Edward ran a hand through my hair, stroking pieces of it off my face.

"We threw away a really good thing." I said in a breath. "Do you remember how we used to be?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"Of course." He scoffed. "How in god's name could I forget the happiest times in my life?"

"Like…" I urged him forward, and he took a deep breath.

"Like when we met in biology, and you told me that you were new in town and that I should take you to dinner." Edward reminisced; smiling at the memory. "Or when I met your father and he was appalled that I didn't like to fish. And how your mother hit the fan when she found out I had taken you to Italy spur of the moment." He frowned. "Maybe that's why she hated me so much."

"I think she was jealous." I laughed, making him laugh. It was truly a beautiful sound. "Do you remember when I came to meet your family and Alice nearly attacked me when I said I hated to shop? And when Mike Newton caught us" I blushed "having, uh, sex in the back of your car?" I couldn't believe I had just brought up sex when I was talking to my ex-husband. But Edward's face remained smooth and calm, if not a bit amused.

"How could I forget?" He laughed, raising his eyebrows. "He nearly had a heart attack when you screamed-" He abruptly stopped, then dropped his hand from mine. His beeper suddenly went off, startling us in the awkward silence. "I'm sorry, Bella." He apologized, getting up before helping me up as well. "But that's work, they need me for an emergency transplant." I nodded, following him out the door and downstairs. "I'll call you." He promised. "Or you stop by again tomorrow." Edward quickly pecked my check before walking off in the other direction.

"Edward!" I called after him, and he turned around.

"Yeah?" He asked, raising his voice.

"Bye." I blushed, waving. He smiled cheerfully and waved back before continuing to his car.

And I stood there, like an idiot, still stuck in the past.

**I'm doing well on the update everyday thing! Then again, it's only been one day. Oh well…don't kill my buzz.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	14. Old Feelings

**Whew. Bridesmaid dresses arrived early this morning, two days early. Gotta love UPS for speedy delivery! Right now I'm sitting at the florists, waiting for her to redo my bouquets.**

EPOV

Sometimes I hated my job. But right now, I absolutely despised it.

"Dr. Cullen? Could you sign these-"

"Not now, Angela." I snapped, and she slowly backed off. I felt bad for being so short with her, but couldn't she see I was on the phone? I punched in the number Bella had given me into my cell phone, and hit 'call' without hesitation. I needed to see Bella again, and soon.

"Hello?" A voice that definitely not Bella's answered.

"Hello, is Bella Swan there?" I asked patiently, tapping my fingers against my leg.

"Who's asking?" This time, I immediately realized who the suspicious voice belonged too. Renée, Bella's mother. Shit. Bella had said her mother was upset that the two of us were friendly, and Renée had never really liked me. I had stolen her daughter away when she was practically a child and corrupted her with drinking and cursing and sex. Then I had cruelly broken her heart.

"This is one of her doctors." I said calmly.

"Oh, I'm sorry but Bella is out." She said politely.

"Well, Mrs. Swan needs to schedule a follow up exam for sometime next week." I said, tapping my pen against the wall.

"_Miss_ Swan." Renée corrected. "She's not married." I smiled to myself. She hadn't changed at all.

"My mistake. Please have her call this number back."

"Alright, I'll be sure to have her call." Renée hung up and I did too. I smiled to myself as I remembered the first time I had met Renée Dwyer.

Bella was going to visit her in Jacksonville during Spring Break of our senior year, and she asked me to come with her. I, of course, agreed. What man wouldn't turn down the chance to accompany his girlfriend to Florida when he could spend _night and day_ with her? Renée had caught Bella and I locked in a passionate embrace in Bella's room one night, and had immediately started screaming at the both of us. Something about how I would get Bella pregnant and ruin her life.

BPOV

"One of your doctors just called." My mom said absentmindedly from the couch, flipping through a magazine.

"Which one?" I asked, my heart pounding. There was no way my mother would ever give me a message from Edward.

"I don't know, but he wants you to call him back. The number is on caller ID." Renée said, tossing her magazine down. "I'm going to take a shower." She called, padding into the guestroom.

I picked up the phone off the kitchen table and picked up the phone, checking the recent calls. One phone number was there. Unlisted.

That definitely wasn't the hospital.

I hit the talk button and walked into my room, making sure to close the door behind me and lock it.

"Hello?" I immediately recognized Edward's velvet voice and smiled.

"You called, _doctor_?" I asked, grinning.

"Your mom answered." Edward laughed, making me laugh. "What was I supposed to tell her? She _hates_ me."

"I know….she's difficult." I heard him snort and rolled my eyes. "What did you call for?" I asked, huddling up on my bed.

"I wanted to see if we could finish our conversation." Edward said quietly. "Somewhere we won't be interrupted."

"Well….Renée is going to the spa all day tomorrow. You could come over to my place." I offered, running my finger over the design in my bedspread. "And we could order takeout or something." Edward was hesitating, and sighed.

"That sounds great, Bella. We can catch up as well, if you'd like." Edward finally said, and I smiled.

"That would be nice." I admitted. "I want to know all about how your dream job worked out, and you know what?"

"What?" Edward asked, chuckling.

"If you want, we can watch a movie. Your pick." I knew exactly what movie he would pick.

"The Godfather. We're watching The Godfather." He said at once. I heard sudden voices in the background and Edward sighed. "Bella, I have to go. But I'll be over tomorrow around noon, okay? And I'll bring the movie."

"Alright, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow." I gave him my address and we said our goodbyes. My heart was beating fast, and my cheeks were warm.

"Who was that?" My mom's voice sounded from the doorway and I whirled around, my heart in my throat.

"One of my doctor's." I said quickly, ducking my head. "Do you….uh, did you need something?" I asked, tossing the phone at the foot of my bed. She gave a strange look and tightened the strap of her bathrobe.

"I just wanted to borrow a pair of socks." My mom said.

"Oh." I said, relieved. "Bottom drawer." My heart was still pounding, although I knew my mother wasn't the most perceptive of people.

"You're acting weird, baby." She said, frowning at me as she put socks on. "Are you feeling okay? Maybe you should call the doctor back." She started to reach for the phone but I smacked her hand away without thinking.

"No!" I shouted, and my mom stared at me, confused. "I mean, I'm fine. I don't need to talk to the doctor." She continued to frown at me. "Honestly, I'm a bit tired." Damn. I was talking like Edward. "I'm going to take a nap.

"Alright sweetie. I'll leave you alone." Mom pecked my forehead and smoothed back my hair.

So she left, flicking off the light and closing the door quietly behind her.

My heart continued to beat fast, and the blush stayed on my cheeks.

**This was kind of a filler chapter….my days are becoming increasingly busy! I currently have two of my fiancée's frat brothers staying with us, so I occupy most of my time playing Halo with them and trying to get all those last minute details down.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	15. The Godfather and French

**This chapter just kind of…came to me. I really like the storyline for this chapter. And what is up with the site? It wouldn't let me update for TWO DAYS!**

EPOV

"Hey, stranger." Bella pecked my cheek when she opened the door to her apartment; stepping aside so that I could come in.

"Hey." I held up the movie and grinned. "I got it." She rolled her eyes but smiled too.

"I ordered you Chinese." She called, moving further into the apartment. "Do you still like orange chicken and lo mein?" I followed her into the kitchen and Bella held up several containers of food.

"That sounds great. Do you want to eat first, then talk?" I asked as Bella rifled through a drawer in search of silverware.

"Sure." Bella said easily, holding up the silverware she had managed to locate. "Come on, we can watch it in my room." She wanted me to come into her room? But she walked down a short hallway and disappeared behind a door, so I hesitantly followed her.

This was crazy. I was getting too close to my ex-wife, and I knew it. But I didn't care.

Bella put the movie in and jumped on the bed, gesturing for me to join her. I was very aware of how close we were sitting, and the way Bella rested her head on my shoulder. Nonetheless, we enjoyed the movie.

"Oh god that's disgusting!" Bella cried, covering her eyes. "Did they seriously have to put a horse's head there? I mean, come on!" I couldn't stop laughing at her horrified expression, which made Bella burst into laughter as well.

"You know, that's a real horse head." I informed her as soon as we managed to stop laughing.

"Ew! Seriously?" Bella looked disgusted but amused.

"Seriously!" I confirmed, kissing the top of her head. "An actual dead horse head."

"I can't understand why you love this movie so much!" Bella groaned. "They keep killing off the characters I like!"

"That's kind of the point, love. It _is_ the mafia." I snickered, and Bella huffed, then went back to the movie, her eyes slightly wide. We finished the rest of the movie without talking much, but we continued to touch each other in the smallest ways. I let my hand rest on her knee, she laid her head on my chest. Our hands would briefly touch before one of would reluctantly pull away. The credits started to roll and Bella silently turned the TV off before turning to me; her brown eyes soulful and deep.

"Edward….I think I'm still in love with you." She whispered, biting her lip.

We definitely needed to talk. She deserved to know how I feel about her, and what was keeping us apart.

BPOV

"I can't…..I don't think I can let myself fall for you again." Edward whispered, running the soft pad of his thumb up and down my jaw. I felt my heart breaking, but I continued to look him straight in the eye.

"Why not?" I asked softly. "I still love you." Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, the pain in his eyes evident.

"I didn't say I don't still love you." Edward murmured, smiling a tiny bit. "Because I do. I love you, Bella. I don't regret my choice though." He pressed his forehead to mine briefly, and then pulled away.

"Why?" I asked softly, touching his muscular arm hesitantly with my finger tips.

"We were unhappy." He stated. "And we couldn't fix it. Even though our divorce was…._excruciatingly _painful, it was necessary. At that point, I was no longer in love with you. And I don't think you were in love with me either." I didn't protest, because I was slowly realizing Edward was actually right.

At that point in the wreckage of our marriage, I was truly no longer in love with Edward. I loved him, but I no longer was _in _love with him. So how could things change so quickly? I see him again eight years later, and fall in love again?

"Could we ever be happy again?" He asked, pulling me from my thoughts. "Would you be willing to try _us_ again?" His hand grazed my thigh and I shuddered. Without thinking, I locked my arms around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Edward's hands immediately went to my waist, pulling me up onto his lap easily.

"God I love you." I panted through his torrent of kisses. He growled, clenching me tighter against his muscular body.

"I have no idea how I ever let you go. I love you, Bella. So much." I nearly melted at his words, my hands automatically going to the buttons of his shirt. I had his shirt unbuttoned and was about to slip it off his broad shoulders when he gently pushed me away.

"Wha-? You don't want to…" I asked, still panting heavily. Edward smiled at me and lightly trailed kisses from the top of my head, down my face, and onto my chin.

"I don't think we're ready for this. I don't want to take advantage of you." My jaw dropped, but I nodded. Edward was right. Caught up in the moment, sex seemed like a good idea. But now that my head was clear and I was properly functioning, I knew it would have been moving too fast.

"Alright." I agreed, laying my head against his chest, kissing the exposed skin. "Thank you. For, uh, stopping things." I blushed and Edward chuckled, kissing my collar bone with adoration. "Here," I said, reaching for the buttons of his shirt. "let me help."

I busied myself with the buttons, trying to distract myself from his chiseled abs. My hand skimmed across the bottom his shirt, exposing his side.

"What's this?" I asked running my pinky over the unfamiliar tattoo that was inked right above the waistband of his jeans, on his hip. I had just seen him shirtless yesterday, how could I have missed _this?_ Well…I was a little busy crying my eyes out.

"A tattoo." He smirked. I reached up to smack the back of his head, but he caught my hand and placed a sloppy kiss on my palm, laughing all the while.

"I know _that_." I rolled my eyes, leaning closer to examine the flowing script. "What does it say?" I asked. Edward smiled easily and played with my ponytail.

"Tout d'abord, ne pas faire de mal." He said in fluent French, stunning me.

"When did you learn French?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and continuing to look over the tattoo.

"When I studied in France my junior and senior years. I stayed for a year after that, then came back." Edward explained.

"I didn't know you went to France." I said quietly.

"Yep. Only for three years, though. I picked up the language pretty well, I guess." He said modestly.

"You speak it beautifully." I corrected him. "What does it mean?" My fingers traced the words again, almost involuntarily.

"First, do no harm." Edward said nonchalantly, shifting and doing up the rest of his shirt's buttons.

"That's part of your oath, right?" I asked; curious. Edward just nodded and lightly pushed me off of him, then rearranged our bodies so that we were spooning in an intimate fashion; laying on our sides and holding each other carefully. "I feel like I know nothing about you now." I complained, hugging him tightly. Edward laughed.

"You know everything about me." He insisted.

"I know everything about you….from eight years ago. I know nothing about what you've been doing with your life since then. Tell me everything."

"Everything?" He asked incredulously.

"_Everything_." I said stubbornly, burying my head into the crook of his neck. "Don't leave anything out."

"Fine. But if you get bored, you asked for it." Edward groused, running his free hand through his hair. "After the divorce, I went to France for two years and studied there. Mostly because I wanted to…get away from everything."

"What did you do while you were there?" I asked.

"Not much. Studied. Alice made me take her to fashion week….that was pure torture. And then I meet someone." His tone was guarded now; hesitant.

"Tell me about her." I insisted, morbidly curious.

"Her name was Irina." Edward whispered. "And I thought I was falling in love with her." I sucked in a deep breath. Edward shot me a concerned look but continued. "But then….then she told me what she wanted. Irina wanted me to stay in Paris with her. She wanted to get married and have a family by the time she was 30. And I couldn't do it, Bella. I couldn't stay with her, because I realized something. At that point, somehow, I still had feelings for you. They resurfaced so suddenly I panicked. I left Irina and I went back to Seattle." He paused and glanced over at me, looking uncomfortable. "I looked for you. But Alice told me you were gone. So I went looking for you in Forks."

"You looked for me? You actually came to Forks?" I asked, stunned.

"Yes." He muttered. "And I found you. I saw you in the window of a coffee shop. You were holding hands with a man, and I could tell he was your boyfriend. Seeing you like that, with someone else, hurt in a way I couldn't place. So I came to Chicago, and I threw myself into work, trying to forget about you. And here we are."

"His name was Mike." I told him. "And we dated for a few months before he cheated on me."

"You don't deserve that." Edward said; his voice deliciously rough and hoarse.

"Don't worry about it. It's over." I shrugged it off and started playing with the clasp of Edward's watch. "You didn't date anyone else?" I wondered aloud.

"A few. But they didn't matter. Four or five dates, and then I would end things."

"Anything else changed?" I asked casually, arching an eyebrow. Edward sighed and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt, where another tattoo was inked onto his upper arm in the same flowing script. I exhaled and traced my finger over the words.

"What does this one say?" I furrowed my brow. This one was also in what I assumed was French.

"Oubliez le passé." Edward whispered. "Forget the past." We both fell silent, me tracing the tattoo and Edward studying my profile. Then he let out a low chuckle and rolled his shirt sleeve back down. "I was so damn drunk when I got this one…..I don't even remember where I got it done. Or when I decided to get it done." A tiny line appeared between his eyebrows as he frowned slightly. "All I know it that I woke up the next morning with this tattoo" he tapped his upper arm "and a hell of a headache." He added wryly, smirking.

"Those might be the sexiest things I've ever seen." I said in a low voice. "Say something in French for me." I asked, my lips inches from his.

"Je suis désolé." He murmured, and leaned forward the slightest bit so that our lips slowly connected. "I" he pecked my lips again "am" he pulled the both of us upright and kissed me again "_sorry_." He exhaled and took my face in his hands, smiling the most beautiful smile I have ever seen before peppering soft kisses all over my face. Edward's hands were suddenly in my hair, pulling me against him. My own hands automatically shot to his hair, reciprocating the intimate action.

"What the hell are you doing!?" A voice cried from the doorway, and we instantly broke apart, flushed and breathing heavily.

**That whole tattoo thing was inspired by my fiancée because his tattoo's are probably the sexiest things I have ever seen. His first one is on his hip (like Edward's) and says 'Avec vous, j'ai tout' which means 'With you I have everything' and his second one is on his upper arm (also like Edward's) and says 'J'ai trouvé le vrai amour' and means 'I have found true love'. I think they are extremely sexy so I had to have some Jensen in Edward's character.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**

**P.S. Six days to go. Let's do this.**


	16. Update

**I'm just writing this really quick update to let you all know that I will not be updating anymore for this story until I get back from my honeymoon on the 22. And since I am getting married this Saturday, I have been extremely busy. I feel like I am neglecting you all! But we are going backpacking through Europe, so there is no possible way for me to bring my laptop along with me and continue to update. I am, however, bringing my iPod so I can get on fanfiction to read stories as often as I can. I will also be able to check on reviews (hint hint) and stuff like that. The only story I will be updating tomorrow is my new one, which is called 'In Search of Euphoria'. But I will be back before you know it.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	17. Caught

**I'm back! Well, kind of. I'm still in Europe, but Jensen and I are staying with my aunt and her family in Rome until September, and my lovely aunt is loaning me her laptop. Europe was so amazing, if you ever get the chance, you absolutely **_**have**_** to go. **

**Thanks for being so patient, I filled an entire two subject notebook with writing, so these next few chapters will be coming out faster.**

**-----**

**Flashback:**

**BPOV**

**I yanked the door open and immediately scoffed. Edward stood there, wearing faded jeans and a rumpled tee-shirt. It had been a week since the divorce papers had been served, and Edward was here to pick up his stuff.**

"**Morning." He said gruffly, pushing past me and stomping off to the bedroom without another word. I slammed the door shut and followed him, standing in the doorway as he tossed clothes into boxes carelessly. **

"**Where are you staying? I could have sent your stuff." I said in a monotone voice, crossing my arms over my chest.**

"**With Emmet and Rosalie." He answered, not turning around to look at me. "And I don't need your help, Bella. I can pack up my shit by myself." I rolled my eyes and Edward started putting his school books into boxes as well.**

"**You don't have to be rude." I said tersely. "You're acting like an ass."**

"_**Now**_** who's being rude?" Edward replied, looking up at me angrily. His emerald green eyes were scorching and his pink lips were pursed. "Maybe you should just get out of here until I'm gone." **

"**I'm not leaving you alone in **_**my**_** apartment." I snapped, and Edward chuckled.**

"**Like I would want any of the junk in this place. All we own is cheap, broken crap." He stacked two boxes on the floor then started filling a third. "I want my clothes, my books, and the stuff **_**my**_** family gave us."**

"**I knew all that 'our family' stuff was crap." I spat, retreating into the living room. Edward followed with an empty box, his face expressionless. **

"**Where is it?" He asked, dropping the box.**

"**What?" I asked stupidly, whirling around to face him. **

"**The Tiffany clock and crystal, for starters." Edward started rifling through the breakfront that was shoved against the far wall of the living room. **

"**Stop it." I exclaiming, grabbing his arm. "You can't take **_**everything**_**." Edward abruptly dropped the box and stomped back into the bedroom, reappearing with the other three boxes that had already been filled.**

"**Fine. You keep all of it. I just want out at this point." Edward murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose. I was sure my face betrayed how badly that comment hurt, because Edward sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella. It took the both of us to cause this mess. Let's just drop it, okay?" My mouth dropped open.**

"**Just **_**drop it**_**?!" I hissed. "We're getting **_**divorced**_**, Edward. Not breaking up, not 'seeing other people'. Divorce. You can't just drop it, it's a big, shitty deal!"**

"**Fine. It's all my fault, I was a sucky husband, whatever." Edward started towards to door, but I called after him.**

"**So, are you going with someone else?" I asked. "Going to ruin some other woman's life?" **

"**Sure, Bella. Sure." Edward scoffed. "Anyone, and I mean **_**anyone**_** but you." And with that, he slammed the door shut behind him, taking his boxes and leaving me alone in the living room, fuming.**

**End Flashback**

EPOV

"What the _hell_ are you doing?!" Renée screeched, pausing in the doorway of Bella's bedroom. "Get _away_ from my daughter." Bella and I shot apart, and Bella's cheeks were flaming red.

"Mom, please don't make this-" Bella started, straightening her rumpled shirt.

"I can't believe this." Renée muttered. "Edward, get out of here." I started to go, but Bella grabbed my arm and yanked me backwards.

"No. This is my house, and Edward can be here as long as he wants." Bella stuttered, her eyes wide.

"And I am your mother. So I think I have the authority to kick a boy out of your house." Renée said coolly, her eyebrows raised.

"He's a not a _boy_." Bella exclaimed. "You're driving me-" She stopped midsentence, her shoulders slumping. "I have to go." She said suddenly, grabbing her purse from the floor and bolting out of the room, leaving me and a very angry Renée behind.

"What are you thinking, getting close to my daughter again?" Renée sputtered. "You broke her heart, you don't get to storm back into her life all of a sudden and ruin everything. She has a career. She's getting her life in order, and _you _will **not** be the one to screw things up for her." Renée took a step towards me, her hands square on her hips. "What exactly do you want to happen with Bella?"

I started to answer, before I realized I simply had no answer.

So I walked away without answering.

**Only a few chapters left….probably five or six left until the ending.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	18. Before the Worst

**This song is 'Before the Worst' by The Script.**

EPOV

How could things be so screwed up? A week had passed since Renée had caught Bella and I kissing, and Bella hadn't contacted me since. And I didn't have the guts to reach out to her. Because honestly, I couldn't answer Renée's question. I had no idea where I wanted things to go with Bella. She was my ex-wife, for god's sake. My _ex-wife_, whose heart I broke. And she broke mine.

**It's been a while since the two of us talked  
About a week since the day that you walked  
Knowing things would never be the same  
With your empty heart and mine full of pain  
**

Everything had been going so well up until the point of Renée's confrontation, making me doubt myself and the feelings I had begun to feel again for Bella. So what was happening now? Everything was going to hell, because I couldn't bring myself to make a decision. Did I want her back, or should I cut her lose and leave her to find new love and happiness?

**  
So explain to me, How it came to this  
Let's take it back to the night that we kissed  
**

When things had been good- ten years ago- we had been untouchable. Our love had been so deep and pure, we had ruled out all possibilities of our romance ending. But it had.

**  
We were sitting with our backs against the world  
Saying things that we thought but never heard  
Who would have thought it would end up like this?  
**

Could Bella and I make things right again, that was the question. Was it possible to go back to the love we had shared in the first year of your marriage? Could we ever go back to that romance from the days of high school?

**But everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on  
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong**

Before the worst  
Before we met  
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again  
Before today  
Before too long  
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong  


She had been my best friend. She had been all I needed. Bella had been my drug; my only fix. We had shared much love and even pain, but hadn't been able to overcome the big problems that had faced in the end of our wreckage of a marriage.

**There was a time that we'd stay up all night  
Best friends, yeah, talking til the daylight  
Took the joys alongside the pain  
With not much to lose but so much to gain  
**

I still remembered when I had proposed to her. We had been out to dinner, and decided to brave the 30 block walk back to the apartment we had just moved in to. It had been pouring rain, and I had looked over at Bella; completely and totally stunned. Her face was tilted towards the rain pounding down on us, and a smile was stretched across her face. I knew, in that moment, that I was going to marry her. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. And she had felt the same way.

**  
Are you hearing me? Cuz I don't wanna miss  
That you would drift on memory bliss  
It was Grafter street, on a rainy night  
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life**

We were thinking we would never be apart  
With your name tattooed across my heart  
Who would have thought it would end up like this?

I need to fix this. I need to talk to Bella, and make things go back to how we were.

**But everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on  
Was trying to take it back before it all went wrong**

----

**A/N: A bit short, but I am facing some writers block with this story. I might not be updating for about a week. Maybe by then I will get back into the plot.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	19. Confess

**I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I have hit a real rut for this story. It's extremely frustrating, and everything I've written for this story is truly crap. So I got this chapter done after a week of messing with it, and I'm not putting myself through another process like this one. **

**Anyway…after this chapter, the story is on hiatus! It will be back as soon as possible. **

BPOV

I had been too much of a coward to try and contact Edward after the events of last week. I stared at the phone, knowing that it would be the adult thing to do to talk to him. To explain to him why I practically jumped him, then ran away. Renée had left two days later, and not without giving me a talk about how I needed to grow up and decide what I wanted.

The majority of my week had been spent on the couch, sprawled out and attempting to work on my current novel. Unfortunately, it was a romance novel and I often got myself worked into a fit trying to get into a romantic mindset. Because I couldn't write about love properly until I got my messy, wrecked love life into shape. And I couldn't do that until I either cut Edward loose or patched things up with him.

So I was lounged on the couch, flipping through the several chapters I had managed to write, when someone knocked on the door. Sighing, I yanked my greasy hair into a ponytail on my way to answer the door; hoping it was the Chinese food I had ordered. I pulled the door open, yawning into my palm as I did so.

When I saw who was there, I almost slammed the door shut. Edward.

I looked like total crap; I had been wearing the same pajamas for three days straight and my hair was in a greasy, tangled knot on the nape of my neck. I stared at him for a moment, frozen.

His bronze hair was messier than usual, and his grey tee shirt and jeans were rumpled. Bags hung under his emerald green eyes, and his lips were chapped.

"I need to talk to you." He said quietly, shoving his hands in his pocket. I snapped out of my state and silently held the door open further, inviting my ex-husband inside.

"Just….uh, let me get cleaned up a little." I gestured to my disgusting appearance. Edward shook his head and sunk down onto my couch.

"It doesn't matter, Bella. Just please, sit down." He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me next to him on the couch before I could protest.

"What do you want?" I asked bluntly, curling my legs under me. Edward didn't speak for a moment, just tousled his hair and stared at me intently.

"Bella, I still love you." He said, and my jaw dropped to the floor.

_What!? He still loved me?_

"Are you….are you sure?" I asked stupidly, my eyes practically bugging out. Edward laughed ruefully and pinched the bride of his nose; squeezing his eyes shut.

"Yes." He answered simply.

I fell silent, not sure of what to say.

Did I still love Edward? Was I willing to let him back into my life; completely? Could our relationship be good again, like it had been in high school?

Yes. Yes to _everything_.

**-----**

**Yes, it's short. But seriously, I could not get anything out from this story. I'm hitting some pretty serious writers block.**

**But I will be back once I find inspiration again, and when I have some more time off work.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	20. Promises

**Wait, **_**what**_**? Mellie's updating this story? WTF!?**

**That's right bitches, I'm back! I'm so sorry about the delay, but you wouldn't **_**believe**_** the writer's block I was experiencing. And by the way, I have a little news…**

**So I went to the doctor today and apparently I'm impregnated. My husband and I totally flipped and have been bouncing around all day, and then I figured hey, I'll update. **

**I'm still not feeling overly great, but I'm really excited, so I've got a lot of energy. My due date is May 26.**

**-----**

BPOV

"I love you too." I finally said quietly, taking both of his hands in mine. "But, Edward, we can only do this if you promise me something."

"Anything." He whispered, squeezing my hands tightly.

"You have to promise me that we won't lie to each other, or keep our feelings bottled up, or hide things from each other. We have made enough mistakes in the past, and I don't want things to end up like they did last time. If you can promise me that, I will keep up my end of the bargain. Because I would love to redo this relationship; it was so wonderful before."

Edward smiled and brought my hands to his lips and kissed them softly.

"I can do that. We had something special, didn't we? And we let it all go to hell because we were so stupid and insecure and out of touch with each other." I laughed quietly and Edward pulled me against his chest, softly kissing at my exposed neck.

I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling of being with him again.

Because he was my past, present, and future. I had loved him for years, and I had never entirely let him go before. And for that, I was thankful. The way Edward and I acted eight years ago showed the stubbornness and stupidity of our youth, but the way we were acting now showed that we were adults with our own ideas and fates; only our fates were forever intertwined.

Edward was my soul mate. No questions asked. And when he pressed his deliciously soft lips against mine, I knew that we were back to the good old days. The days in which all we needed was each other, and were happy with just sitting together in our tiny apartment.

Our lips moved together in a familiar, beloved rhythm, and Edward's tongue gently swept against my bottom lip. I smiled against his lips as our kiss deepened, but the intensity remained sweet and loving. It was exactly how I remembered; each and every time he touched me my heart would start to race. This man was intoxicating.

And he was mine again. I wanted to show him that everything was right, and that we were going places. So I gently placed my hands on his chest, pulling back gently.

"What?" Edward whispered, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "Is something wrong?" He asked, looking deep into my eyes. I shook my head and stood up, pulling him along with me.

"Nothing's wrong." I said softly, taking his hand and leading him down the hallway. "I love you." I said seriously, stopping in front of the door to my bedroom. Edward paused, looking from me to the door.

"You know that I love you too, but are you-…are you sure?" He asked quietly, stroking my hair. "We don't have to do anything right now if you don't want to. I would understand completely." I shook my head firmly and kissed him sweetly.

"I want _you_." I whispered against his lips, tangling my fingers in his hair. "All of you."

-----

"I love you." Edward whispered against my bear shoulder, causing me to laugh quietly with a beautiful since of care freeness. I arched my neck and tilted it so I could kiss him again. And again. And again.

"I love you too." I murmured, turning around my resting my face against his bare chest. I sighed with contentment and snuggled closer to him. "We should go out and do something." I said after several minutes of bliss. I sat up and wrapped a blanket around myself, bouncing up and down on the bed slightly.

"Ugh." Edward groaned and flopped over, burying his face in the pillow. I yanked on his arm, forcing him to roll back over.

"Get up!" I giggled, bouncing up and down again.

"I'm a little worn out." Edward complained as he sat up, but there was a familiar glimmer in his emerald green eyes; a glimmer that I knew well and had come to love over the years we had been together.

"I don't care." I poked his back and slid out of bed, picking my clothes up off the floor. "We should do something. Something fun."

"Like what?" Edward stretched his arms over his head and I tossed his clothes at him. "It's four o'clock in the afternoon, what is there to do?"

I rolled my eyes as he ran his hand through his very prominent sex hair.

"We're in the middle of Chicago, Edward. Something's always going on." I reminded him, pulling my clothes back on and running a brush through my matted and tangled hair. He shrugged and starting his clothes back on as well. "Let's go on a walk." I decided, pursing my lips and placing my hands on my hips. "It's so nice outside." I added, pulling back the curtains and looking out the window.

"Okay." Edward said easily, coming up behind me and moving my hair to the side and kissing my neck. "I just want to spend the day with you." I smiled happily, tears beginning to weal up in my eyes. I started to wipe them away, but Edward stopped me and whirled me around so that I was facing him. "Is something wrong?" He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"No." I laughed softly, and blinked my eyes a few time to get rid of the tears. "I'm happy. I…I really wanted things to work out. And they did. They are."

"They are." Edward confirmed, closing his eyes and kissing the tip of my nose. "Now" he took my hand in his "let's get going on that walk."

I smiled eagerly as we left my apartment, hand in hand. We talked quietly; mostly about Edward's residency and the book I was working on. It was comfortable and familiar, and I had missed it immensely.

Walking down the street with Edward, laughing and talking, was something special. We were together again. And if we opened up to each other, we could become invincible again. Edward suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, grinning at someone.

"Edward! It's been _so_ long!"

Tanya stood there, her gleaming hair falling around her shoulders and her arms wrapped around her protruding stomach.

"Tanya!" Edward exclaimed, hugging her with the arm that wasn't currently looped around my waist. "How have you been?" He patted her stomach gently. "This is new, no?"

She laughed and they continued to talk, but I blocked them out; my mind racing.

Tanya, the woman I had been so jealous of before. She was pregnant. She, and basically any other woman, could give him something I hadn't been able too.

And even though I had promised to get over my insecurities, this one hit me like a ton of bricks.

-----

**Still surprised that I updated? Well, I won't be updating a whole lot, but since I got over the writer's block it should be like once a week now. You guys can live with that, right?**

**Give me some love and review!**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


	21. Injury

**Hey everyone, this is Mellie's husband, Jensen. Mel took a spill last night and broke three fingers on her right hand, so she won't be able to type for a while. We went to the hospital to make sure everything was alright, and they told her no typing, writing, or using her hand excessively. So Mel wanted me to type this up for her and post it so you guys would all know what's going on. **

**And she says xoxo, Melodyella aka Mellie**

**And I say bye.**


	22. Can't Give

**Sorry I haven't updated in a long while. This story is almost over though! Only two chapters, including this one, left.**

**The next chapter, the last one, won't be out for a while, but it will be a lot longer. This chapter is very short, but I am leaving in less than an hour to go to the midnight showing of New Moon. Well, I'm going out to a late dinner first, but I'm leaving nonetheless.**

**-----**

BPOV

Edward and Tanya continued to talk for a few minutes, going on and on about Medical School and work and a bunch of things I couldn't even start to understand. Then, Tanya said something that managed to catch my attention. "I'm sorry…but I thought the two of you got, um, divorced a couple of years ago. When I was in Seattle your sister Alice said something about it…" Tanya said, looking from Edward to I.

"We're back together now." Edward said firmly, rubbing the small of my back gently with his hand. "I just moved back to the city, and we got back together then."

"Oh, well that's fantastic! You two had such a great relationship, and I hope the two of you are very happy together from now on." Tanya said, glancing at her watch. "I have to get going and meet my husband, but it was so nice to see the two of you again." She said, giving Edward a quick hug and then shaking my hand.

I watched as she walked away, and Edward glanced down at me with a concerned look on his face. "Is something wrong, love?" He asked, his eyebrows bunching together.

"She can give you _everything_ that I can't." I said softly, and Edward came to halt, stopping right in the middle of the sidewalk. "I can't give you a child, Edward. My doctor says it's impossible for me to have children, and I know that you want. Hell, _I _want them. But I _can't_ give you that, and I don't want you to be in this relationship with me if I cannot give you the one thing you want most."

"Whoa, calm down." Edward said urgently, pulling me to the side of the sidewalk so that we were out of the way. "I just want _you_, Bella. I don't care if we can't have children together. You're my everything, my love. And you will always be my everything." He whispered, brushing his lips against mine gently and letting his thumb skin against my cheek.

"Really?" I asked, sniffling and wiping away the tears that had formed in my eyes.

"Of course." Edward murmured soothingly. "Baby, I thought we agreed that we were going to let go of all our insecurities! I don't want you to doubt, for one second, that I want to be with you forever."

I bit my lip and leaned my head against his shoulder, breathing deeply. "I'm sorry." I said, smiling weakly. "I just don't want to have to lose you again."

"Ditto." Edward said in a soft voice, pressing a tender kiss to the top of my head.

-----

**Ugh I'm so sorry It's so short…I hate this. But I have to get going.**

**Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie**


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